“Life is full,” my uncle will say, “but not always of what you want”.

“Live every day to the fullest” people encourage.

“Live in the moment… be mindful and present…” the advice continues.

Most days I just hope things will be uneventful.

I hear people talk about wanting more adventure in their life and I’m sure it’s a grass is always greener situation like the way people with curly hair work hard to straighten is and beautiful brunettes die there hair blonde.  I think it’s all about feeling your have some control.  Control over your life, your appearance, even the big risk takers and spontaneous wonderers do it looking for a feeling of control.

Chaos and havoc influence a good part of my universe.  The unexpected looms just up and to the right waiting to drop a shoe on my head.  The insurance company commercial personifying Havok is the video portrayal of my life.  It’s not bad luck or terrible and the chaos can’t be avoided so years ago I changed my perspective.

“Take life as it comes” is a popular phrase in the therapy world.

“Bend like Gumby” is practically military doctrine.

Neither of these quite captures my secret to dealing with the chaos. I’m not going to take life as it comes and be pushed around like Gumby twisted and pulled around by the chaos I can’t control but I can’t control the chaos.

I’ve found my survival in striving for balance.  The chaos will always be there, truth be told I might miss it is it disappeared, but it’s possible to manipulate that chaos into order by finding your way to work in concert with the word instead of trying to take over or give up.

Like dancing partners.  One leads and the other follows but neither is really in control.  For the dancing to be enjoyable and with out injury they partners have to work in concert and their engagement has to be equal.  There has to be balance- we have to find balance.31537b

My personal balance is a bit like being on Pogo Bounce ball between caring for family, nurturing myself, doin work with guaranteed reward, and investing resources to a professional career in writing with may be a lark.
Worry that I’m doing the right thing tries to push me off the Pogo Ball, guilt that time spent on one things isn’t being used for something else… the chaos tries to push me off balance but the secret is using the forces of chaos as a support system instead fighting is as an enemy.  Get to know your chaos.  Get to know what pushes and pulls your where and then instead of fighting things you can’t control it becomes easier to work in concert with them and turn the chaos into order- to find balance.


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